Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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