She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
