I wish life had little blips of pornography
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
