Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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