woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Randomize
