I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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