names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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