in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
