My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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