i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
