So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
