wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
