Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
