dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
