I hate all girls vehemently.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
