i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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