Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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