I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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