Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
