using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
