Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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