maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
