Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Let's get the cat blown out
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
