In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
