whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
