U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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