I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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