I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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