dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
