I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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