It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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