I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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