I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
