none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
