Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
