just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
