is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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