You're my little dorito
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
