I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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