What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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