brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
