So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
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