I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
