sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
