If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
