That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
