I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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