I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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