Fuck appropriateness.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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