Having a random hookup so left but love u
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
