matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
So vagazzling was a success
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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