The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
