just tell him i said nine months
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
